You Just Cant Teach Stupid....

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johnnyboy1965

Landlord.
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Mar 18, 2011
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Solihull, West Mids
My wife has 2 Masters Degrees and is studying for a Doctorate. So you would think that she is quite clever.
So, last night, sitting in front of the TV...."Time for bed ?"
"yes, Ill just put the dishwasher on"
Woke up this morning and the kitchen is flooded with 12inches of foam, I mean its everywhere.
"JANE THE DISHWASHER IS HAVING A HISSY FIT, GET SOME TOWELS"

I wonder what caused that,? I thought to myself

My wife`s reply...and these are her exact words " I put a little bit of Fairy Washing up liquid in there as the plates werent coming out clean"

"When you say a little bit, how much?"

" Just a good squirt"


You cant teach stupid...........Discuss
 
bless! i could write a book with the things my wife has come out with, we now call them deb'isms!
example.... on our honeymoon on a coach going through the black forest area of germany, my wife was staring out of the window and just casually threw this out "i wonder if those cows moo in german" i should have known there and then what i was letting myself in for, 25 years later she is still producing some classics! lmao and i am on strict instructions from my mates to text everytime she cracks a good un.
 
I just told SWMBO and before i got to the washing up liquid bit she guessed what had happened, i said how did you know and she said the cook at work did the same (big dish washer) and the kitchen was in a right state.
 
Not my missus but my mates, we were talking about cars and she said "I don't understand number plates" we explained to her that for example " an 08 prefix means the car was built in 2008 " to which she said "so my number plate is 54 so my car was made in 1954"
She's a teacher !
 
My missus always overdoses the washing machine with detergent. Looks like a snowdrift thru the window and often backs up to the detergent drawer and foams out all over the place. She's not going to get it after all these years. I suppose we all have a blind spot. Meanwhile, the best thing to do with Fairy Liquid is put a generous amount in the toilet cistern at work. The results are spectacular. Try it!
 
My wife is excellent. She has a particular talent for mixing up sayings. And she will just come out with them, unprovoked, and while trying to explain a situation.

Let me explain.....these are just two examples.

a) you don't want to shoot yourself in the face - a mash up of "shoot yourself in the foot" and "cut your nose off to spite your face"

And

b) get all your ducks in a basket - a mash up of "ducks in a row" and "eggs in a basket"

Seriously they just keep on coming. She's not stupid, far from it. But Jesus she does come out with them.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 
I am banned from the dishwasher apparently I do not know the correct way to put dirty dishes into it.
If I do load it my wife who has a Ph D in this area will take all dishes and plates and especially knives and forks and load them properly.

It seems that if you put knives in with the blades pointing upwards there is a risk of someone falling on them. Last time I went for a walk in a dishwasher I walked smartly and safely past the upward turned knives and went face first straight into a plate. Who put that there like that?
 
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