Things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon on your software
development team:
Behold, the keyboard of Kaylis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever
lived!
A TRUE Klingon warrior does not comment his code!
By filing this defect you have questioned my family honour. Prepare to die!
You question the worthiness of my Code?! I should kill you where you stand!
Our competitors are without honour!
Specs are for the weak and timid!
This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to
do battle with this code!
This code is a piece of ****! You have no honour!
My program has just dumped Stova Core!
Perhaps it IS a good day to Die! I say we ship it!
You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original
Klingon.
Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!"
Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' --
and they ALWAYS WIN.
Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest.
They will not concern us again.
Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and
let them flee like the dogs they are!
And My Personal favourite
What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'.
Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality
assurance people in its wake.
development team:
Behold, the keyboard of Kaylis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever
lived!
A TRUE Klingon warrior does not comment his code!
By filing this defect you have questioned my family honour. Prepare to die!
You question the worthiness of my Code?! I should kill you where you stand!
Our competitors are without honour!
Specs are for the weak and timid!
This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to
do battle with this code!
This code is a piece of ****! You have no honour!
My program has just dumped Stova Core!
Perhaps it IS a good day to Die! I say we ship it!
You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original
Klingon.
Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!"
Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' --
and they ALWAYS WIN.
Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest.
They will not concern us again.
Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and
let them flee like the dogs they are!
And My Personal favourite
What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'.
Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality
assurance people in its wake.
