Isn't it time that we here at THBF took over as the UK Government?

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Let's be honest (not a virtue understood by the current lot) we couldn't be worse than what we have now

So please, let's collect our major policies, so that we can create a manifesto

If you were part of the THBF cabinet, what would be your priorities (sensible ideas are not allowed)?

I'd abolish chip shop queues and form an enquiry into why it is that wrong numbers are never engaged

What would you do?
 

Brianbrewed

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Currently the UK is inundated with a huge influx of foreigners every spring. They gorge themselves on free food and breed voraciously.
I am, of course talking about migrating birds.
To combat this un-solicited influx, I propose anti-aircraft guns on the coast of the UK to annihilate these free-loaders. (The carcasses of these dead birds could then be given to poor people, to alleviate the cost of living crisis).
Dole scroungers could man (or woman) these anti-aircraft guns (a solution to the long term unemployed).
 
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Currently the UK is inundated with a huge influx of foreigners every spring. They gorge themselves on free food and breed voraciously.
I am, of course talking about migrating birds.
To combat this un-solicited influx, I propose anti-aircraft guns on the coast of the UK to annihilate these free-loaders. (The carcasses of these dead birds could then be given to poor people, to alleviate the cost of living crisis).
Dole scroungers could man (or woman) these anti-aircraft guns (a solution to the long term unemployed).
Brilliant B, I appoint you Foreign Secretary in my new government. You clearly have the highly honed sense of ethics and fairness that the current FS has - you'll be perfect
 

Victor Churchill

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Garden and DIY equiment should be taxed according to the number of dB noise they make.

People should be given a sanity test before being allowed to vote.

All workplaces that require employees to be present on site (hello, hospitals) should provide employees with free parking and alternatively free coach services to/from.

All pubs should have a quiet room.

People littering should be given comunity service time pickingup the [email protected] people dorop.
 
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Garden and DIY equiment should be taxed according to the number of dB noise they make.

People should be given a sanity test before being allowed to vote.

All workplaces that require employees to be present on site (hello, hospitals) should provide employees with free parking and alternatively free coach services to/from.

All pubs should have a quiet room.

People littering should be given comunity service time pickingup the [email protected] people dorop.
Far too sensible Victor - but I agree
 

Chippy_Tea

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Give everyone that wants them solar panels and let them pay back what they owe by putting unused power back into the grid it doesn't matter how long it takes to pay it back no one should have to decide what food they choose at the food bank because they cannot afford to heat it.
 

An Ankoù

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Tea should be repatriated to China, Cocoa to Cocoaland and Coffee should be sent back to Tesco. Let us have control, once and for all, over our national drink. Anybody caught drinking foreign muck (eg Coca Cola) instead of beer should be fined a shilling and put in the stocks in the village square.
Beer should be proper beer. Newkie Brown or Whitbread Trophy. None of your dodgy lager, limp-wristed cloudies, or Belgian sipping stuff. Chidren and babes in arms should be raised on Mother's Milk Stout and Babycham respectively.
 
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