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Dutto

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............
We used to ring the Company on a regular basis and ask for Mr Michael Hunt. The female receptionist would always correct our error with “Don’t you mean Dr Mike Hunt?”.
Also true. I was sitting in JFK Airport in New York when the following came over the PA system ...

"Will a Mister J Meehoff please come to the Pan-Am Check-in Area; Jack Meehoff to Check-in please ... " the place erupted and the voice tailed off as the lady realised that she had been conned.

On the same trip, I was staying at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel (it's not as good as it's cracked up to be) and I was supposed to meet up with an Italian gentleman called Mister Liguori.

I asked at Reception for his room number and phoned his room from the public phones in the Lobby, but to no avail. I went back to Reception, asked the young lady if I could page M. Liguori and was directed to the Bell Captain, who was a huge gentleman dressed up like a South American General and standing on a raised plinth almost in the centre of the Lobby.

I went over and asked the man if he could page Mister Liguori for me. He wrote the name down on a piece of paper before twice asking me to clarify the spelling and pronunciation of "Mister Liguori". I complied.

I had seen how they did things in classy hotels on American films. They put a piece of paper on a stick and walk around the quiet areas of the hotel (bar, restaurant, lounge etc) until the person contacts them.

It may work in Hollywood films but it sure as hell didn't work in New York's Waldorf Astoria! The Bell Captain never moved from his plinth, took a deep breath and yelled "MISTER LIGUORI - MISTER LIQUORI - PLEASE COME TO RECEPTION". Every eye in the place turned to look at the Bell Captain and myself. I cringed with embarrassment and just hoped that the floor would open and swallow me!

Needless to say, Mister Liguori and I met up in the lobby about an hour later after he had phoned me in my room!

A memorable trip to New York!
 

Coffin Dodger

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I used to love the double-entendre names people used when writing in to the Wake Up To Wogan show on Radio 2. Mick Sturbs, Norma Stitts, Rudolph Hart/Hucker and so forth. Of course he never read the last one out directly – “Here’s a letter from Mr Hucker, lets see what Rudolph has to say” sort of thing.
 

Cestrian

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I used to love the double-entendre names people used when writing in to the Wake Up To Wogan show on Radio 2. Mick Sturbs, Norma Stitts, Rudolph Hart/Hucker and so forth. Of course he never read the last one out directly – “Here’s a letter from Mr Hucker, lets see what Rudolph has to say” sort of thing.
Henrietta Carrot
 

Shirley Bassett

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I had another customer whose first name we were told by himself was Arran. His surname was Mycock. After he had inducted us to site and left us in the hands of one of the engineers, his secretary told us he had changed his name slightly, because his actual name was Aaron Mycock. Parents with a sense of humour!
 

foxy

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I would love to enroll on a forum as Maxwell Hung, beats Seinfeld's Buck Naked.
 

Coffin Dodger

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I spotted this in the Daily Mail ‘Questions and Answers’ column many years ago.

Question: When Clement Atlee was Prime Minister, a newspaper accidentally printed a spoof letter signed C. Lemon-Tatley. Has a better spoof ever evaded the editor’s eye?

In the mid-fifties, when I was a reporter on the Cambridge Daily News’ the editor, in his weekly Table Talk column asked readers if they knew who had once owned a large old house in the City Centre, which had recently been pulled down to make way for a car park.

A few days later the newspaper received a letter purporting to come from a Mr R. Stornaway of The Railings, Fulbourn, near Cambridge – then the site of one of the largest psychiatric hospitals I the country. The supposed author identified the owner of the old house as a Miss V.D. Carrier, who was said to have done a lot of pleasant voluntary work in many local fields, bringing great harmony and satisfaction between city dwellers and the university student population. The letter ended by telling readers that Miss Carrier, who had left her mark on many in the city, had died from an incurable disease.

The spoof was missed by the editor and made its way into the column – much to the amusement of the many thousands of readers. The local news agency serving the national papers, which had rooms in the Cambridge Daily News offices were swamped with phone calls from Fleet Street, reporters offering £10 for a copy of the paper – a week’s wages back then for a struggling journalist such as I. Sadly I couldn’t cash in, as every single copy of the paper was sold.
 

531Man

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This was told to me by a colleague some years ago;
We had some test to do on a child with the surname Cart.
His parents must have been film buffs as they had given him the forename Orson.............
Orson Cart!
Unintentional or a cruel sense of humour, it is amusing.
 

Dutto

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I once worked with a gentleman who's parents had chosen to call him Hugh! Not really bad until you realised his surname was Willie!

How about poor Austin Healy the rugby player?

I sailed with a man who posed as a put-upon housewife to regularly write to the "Dear Deidre" column in Woman's Own Magazine. The pinnacle of his success was when he showed me a personal reply that advised him to consult his local Police; because what his husband was doing to "her" was illegal. :laugh8:

Takes all kinds eh?!?! aheadbutt
 

Barley Rubble

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Two women sat chatting.....

NAOMI says " Did you know that my name spelt backwards is I MOAN? That's just so funny because I love moaning!

LANA replies " You can just f**k off with your silly games.
 

Banbeer

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Two women sat chatting.....

NAOMI says " Did you know that my name spelt backwards is I MOAN? That's just so funny because I love moaning!

LANA replies " You can just f**k off with your silly games.
So what's the problem if she loves Alan :laugh8:
 

Barley Rubble

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A Nigerian man passes away and the authorities find $27 billion dollars in his apartment.

He had been trying to give it away for 15 years, but no one would return his e-mails.
 

trueblue

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The latest covid advice says we can have 6 people in the garden socially distanced - Fred West took that a bit to far.
 

Tim Wilkes

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Friend of mine's parents have recently had a decorating quote from Matthew Finish. He's less formal as a rule.
 
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