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Old 20-12-2016, 10:43 PM   #91
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Originally Posted by Dutto View Post
Back in the 1960's when I got into the oil & gas industry my sister (a District Nurse) sent me a beautiful portfolio of graphic photographs; and scared the living daylights out of me!
Read the Ship Captain's Medical Guide. The photos will probably put you off having sex ever again!!

Maybe even with yourself!!!


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Old 21-12-2016, 10:04 AM   #92
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Read the Ship Captain's Medical Guide. The photos will probably put you off having sex ever again!!

Maybe even with yourself!!!
I have ...

... you're correct ...

... but it didn't ...

... even when alone!

Happy Days!


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Living more in hope than expectation; and seldom disappointed.

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Old 29-12-2016, 01:44 AM   #93
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I posted this on the 19th December ...

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Originally Posted by Dutto View Post
.............

Personally I hate the following "modern" things and therefore manage to live without them:
..............

Perfumed Sprays and Vapours
God only knows what harmful chemicals are being pumped into modern houses with the plethora of scents and perfumes on the market.

...................
Since my original Post I have seen many TV adverts for TWO vapour products for use in the home that profess to actually change the behaviour of cats and dogs.

Here are the products and a description of what plugging one of these into a household socket can achieve:

http://www.adaptil.com/uk

http://www.feliway.com/uk/

ONE
I CANNOT UNDERSTAND HOW A COMPANY CAN
BE ALLOWED TO PRODUCE AND SELL A PRODUCT
THAT RELEASES BEHAVIOURAL CHANGING CHEMICALS
INTO THE ATMOSPHERE OF A FAMILY HOME!


TWO
WHO, IN THEIR RIGHT MIND, WOULD BUY AND USE
SUCH A PRODUCT TO CONTROL THEIR HOUSEHOLD PETS;
ESPECIALLY IF CHILDREN LIVE IN THE SAME HOME?


We definitely live in strange times!
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Living more in hope than expectation; and seldom disappointed.

Drinking
Gone with the Wheat Gluten Free Czech Pilsner (6/08/16)
Coopers Lager (with 50g Fuggles) (08/11/16)
Fulstows Marsh Mild (15/12/16)

Conditioning
Fulstows Northfields IPA (05/01/17)
Woodfordes Wherry (17/01/17)

Fermenting
Watch this space!

Note: (**/**/**) = Date bottled or kegged
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Old 11-01-2017, 10:04 AM   #94
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Last night SWMBO wasn't very well with what was suspected to be a Norovirus attack.

I turned on the full "caring" gene that I possess to ensure that she went to bed; and even provided the obligatory bowl, a hot water bottle and cup of hot water to sip between bouts of vomiting.

This morning she is much recovered, has managed to drink another cup of hot water and is currently toying with a light breakfast of warm milk and a banana.

I can't for the life of me understand why I thought of the phrase ...

"Swinging the Lead."


The phrase is hundreds of years old and comes from the time when the depth of water under the keel of a ship was measured by a length of rope with a large lead weight on the end.

The lead had to be swung forward of the ship and released so that the weight descended to the bottom. The depth was then measured when the line was upright as the ship passed, the weight was recovered and the whole process started again.

Obviously, the work was arduous and occasionally the sailor would shout out the depth without actually measuring the depth. But to fool the Officer on the bridge he used to act as if he was actually swinging the lead weight and releasing it into the water.

Hence the phrase "Swinging the Lead" was used to indicate someone who wasn't actually doing what they were supposed to be doing and that was then moved ashore to indicate someone who might not be as ill as they say they are.

I wonder why I thought of that this morning of all mornings?
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Living more in hope than expectation; and seldom disappointed.

Drinking
Gone with the Wheat Gluten Free Czech Pilsner (6/08/16)
Coopers Lager (with 50g Fuggles) (08/11/16)
Fulstows Marsh Mild (15/12/16)

Conditioning
Fulstows Northfields IPA (05/01/17)
Woodfordes Wherry (17/01/17)

Fermenting
Watch this space!

Note: (**/**/**) = Date bottled or kegged
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Old 11-01-2017, 11:16 AM   #95
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My grandparents, long since departed, were always insistant that you had to leave by the same door you came in at. When leaving, will be tide you should try leaving through the front door having arrived through the back door! Never did see any logic to it but that was how they were.

Another from my dad, also long since departed, was not putting new shoes on a table. Bad luck or something. Again, never understood that one.
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Old 11-01-2017, 11:45 AM   #96
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My grandparents, long since departed, were always insistant that you had to leave by the same door you came in at. When leaving, will be tide you should try leaving through the front door having arrived through the back door! Never did see any logic to it but that was how they were.

Another from my dad, also long since departed, was not putting new shoes on a table. Bad luck or something. Again, never understood that one.
Lo behold,
bad news, anyone putting new shoes on the table
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Old 11-01-2017, 03:45 PM   #97
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Don't EVER let me catch you doing that again!
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Old 12-01-2017, 03:45 PM   #98
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I want never gets......

If you start lad you wont sit down for a month......

Just you wait until your Dad gets home..........

You will play with fire until you get burnt lad....

Play with Dog until you get bitten.....

You will smile on the other side of your face Lad....

Carry on lad and you will get it....
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Old 12-01-2017, 04:35 PM   #99
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Don't run with a lollipop in your mouth.
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Old 12-01-2017, 04:43 PM   #100
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Put your brain in gear before yuour mouth in motion....

Sent from my Hudl 2 using Tapatalk


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