TAE A FERT (Frisp will like this)

[Wez]

One of Burns long lost poems!



TAE A FERT

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie,

Lurks in yer bellie, efter the faestie.

Just as ye sit doon amang yer kin,

There sterts tae stir an enormous wind.

The neeps and tatties and mushy peas,

Stert workin’ like a gentle breeze.

But soon the pudding wi the sonsie face,

Will have ye blawin’ aw ower the place.

Nae matter what the hell ye dae,

Awbody’s gonnae have tae pay.

Even if ye try tae stifle,

It’s like a bullet oot a rifle.

Haud yer bum ticht tae the chair,

Ye try tae stop the leakin’ air.

Shift yersel frae cheek tae cheek,

Pray tae God it disnae reek.

But awe yer efforts go asunder,

Oot it comes like a clap o’ thunder.

Ricochets aroon the room,

Michty me, a sonic boom.

God almighty It fairly reeks,

I hope I huvnae sh*t ma breeks.

Tae the bog I better skurry,

Aw what the hell, it’s no ma worry.

Awbody roon aboot me chokin’

Wan or two are nearly bokin.

I feel much better for a while,

Cannae help but raise a smile.

Wis him I shout with accusin’ glower,

Alas too late, he’s just keeled ower.

Ye dirty bugger, they shout and stare,

I dinnae feel welcome any mair.

Where ere ye go, let yer wind gan free,

Sound just like the job fur me.

Whit a fuss, at Rabbie’s perty,

Awe fer the sake o’ wan wee ferty

 

[prolix]

I can't trump it :rofl:

 

[Vossy1]

:lol:

 

[corby_brewer]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

[Moley]

That is superb Wez. :clap:

Burns happens to be one of the few poets I have any interest in, I know most of his works (and even understand a few of them), and that is very well written.