Alternative Olympics?

[Hoppyland]

So, for those already fed up with the Olympics......
Or, more likely, those who can't get enough of it & wish other disciplines had been included....
Based on popular music song titles and artists, what bizarre and barmy events should be happening in Rio?

To get things (rock and) rolling I suggest:
Chuck Berry

Not sure whether the rules should stipulate a standard size and weight of berry, or whether the athletes should be allowed to choose their own fruit as part of the sport's core skills.

 

[IainM]

Skid Row: a canoe on tarmac.

 

[monkier]

High Five, Swan Dive, Nose Dive - Pulled Apart By Horses

 

[Thodd]

Russ Abbot - Atmosphere

Competitors sit in a vacuum sealed chamber and the oxygen is slowly removed. Last one to pass out wins.

 

[geetee]

Maneuvering a giant gas dirigible through ariel gates by remote control.

The winner is the one who has "led zeppelin" through the entire course without any explosions or deaths!

 

[Hoppyland]

Rolling Stones
Could get boring quite quickly if that's all there is to it.....

 

[Robin54]

Morris dancing

 

[Clint]

Skid row...competitors have to run as fast as possible across an oiled slate floor...wearing football boots. Worst injury gets a tshirt marked "IDIOT".

Cheers

Clint

 

[geetee]

Morris dancing

Only people called Morris allowed to take part?
What about people called Maurice can they join in?

Surely you can't discriminate against homophones!

 

[Robin54]

Juggling Soot!