Reading through this alot of it rings true with me.
Unfortunately my wife does most of our day to day cooking as I'm working until 5 - 5:30pm, she finishes before 3pm to get the kids from school, and the kids are getting hungry by 5. She's not a terrible cook but something's she does I just have to grin and bear, criticising it would not go well, it's bad enough if one of the kids decides they don't like whatever she's put in front of us. She's quite impatient when it comes to cookery so doesn't like to "waste" much time on it. The other problem is she's quite a fussy eater and two of my most favourite food groups, fish and fungus, she detests so we never have them. I'd really like to do more to help but it just doesn't work time wise at the moment.
So, squeaky green beans got a mention somewhere earlier, don't get me wrong I don't like my vegetables overdone but when they're bordering on raw because they've been mistimed this I don't like.
Her take on scrambled eggs involves breaking the eggs whole into the pan the mixing them up while they cook. Leads to flecks of white that aren't mixed in and she generally over does them.
She'll muller a slice of toast spreading butter on it that's a bit too cold rather than waiting for it to melt. You want it with a crunch on the outside but still the soft bit in the middle.
One of the "I've not been to the shops" staples is cheesy pasta, my heart sinks when this is suggested. A very poor white sauce where the flour hasn't been cooked out enough dolloped onto a bowl of pasta, then cheese grated on and mixed in. That's it, no bacon or anything nice like that in it. Often accompanied by baked beans. I'm sure one time it was even just a bowl of pasta with cheese grated over.
And finally, lumpy mash. Not sure how it's still lumpy after she's made a load of noise smashing it up, probably didn't cook the spuds for long enough. However one time she tried to improve on this by using the electric blender on it which turned it into a glutenous mess.
Oh and one final final thing I promise. Freezing stuff without labelling it leading to freezer Russian roulette.
I supposed I haven't starved or been poisoned though