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That rhino reminded me of a day in Indonesia!

Two ways to make it back to camp and luckily we chose the longer one, just ‘cos the man driving the truck wanted to buy something in the local village.

We got to the camp, but there was no sign of the American who was driving the short route back to camp in a different truck!

We found him, still in the truck and gripping the steering wheel with a death grip! The truck was on the edge of the road, a few inches from a massive drop-off and the engine had stopped.

To cut a long story short, the American had come across a wild elephant that was stood in the road and leisurely eating something it was dragging off a tree.

The pillock had no more sense than a plank of wood and did what made cows move out of the way in the USA: he leaned on the horn a few times and waited for the elephant to move.

It did! We discovered a 4” length of tusk, that had been snapped off between the engine and the exhaust manifold as the elephant responded by charging the truck!

The driver had failed to reverse quick enough and the engine had stalled when the elephant charged. The elephant presumably thought it had “killed it” so it stopped pushing the truck over the cliff and had ambled away, back into the jungle!

It took about ten minutes to prise the American’s fingers off the steering wheel and he never drove the short way again!

Happy Days?!?!
:hat:
 
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For the love of God, please tell me that's been photoshopped

Cheers Tom

I take it you mean the Mick Jagger lookalike?

:D:D

They reckon he looked that way ‘cos his Mum couldn’t afford a pram!

When she went shopping, rather than leave him in a pram like other Mum’s, she used stick him to the shop window while she went shopping!
 
Two things:
1. The lady who scooped up the pup could tell the driver was dangerous.
2. On the one who stood in front of the rear, parked car, I appreciate their intention of helping the hopeless lady park, but no way I'd stand where the driver could pin me between the two cars and break my legs.
I think I would have said, "Hey, I'm a a professional car parker. Why don't you let me take care of that for you?"
 
Reminded me of the joke about a man who walked into a bar, muttering and spitting as he asked for a pint!

The barman asked him what had happened to make him so upset. He replied:

“You know I’m the car park attendant across the road?” He spat on the floor, muttered to himself and took a pull of his pint. The barman nodded.

“Well, I was saving a small, mini sized, parking space next to the gate when this woman arrived in a huge car and started to park in the space.” Yet again, he repeated the rigmarole of spitting and muttering before taking another pull at his pint.

“I ran straight over and told her that the car she was driving just wouldn’t fit into such a space! I even said to her ‘If you can park your car in there, I’ll kiss your ****!’

He spat again, took a pull of his pint and said, without muttering “What a f****ing driver!”

Enjoy!
:hat:
 
One for Chippy_Tea
I'll let him explain why the best thing to do in Barrow, apparently, is leave and go to Blackpool.

I live in Ulverston which is approximal 8 miles from Barrow-in-Furness and to be honest if i was given the choice between living in Barrow or Blackpool i would choose Barrow, i asked SWMBO and she said the same, i then asked what if it was 30 years ago and we both said Blackpool.
 
I live in Ulverston which is approximal 8 miles from Barrow-in-Furness and to be honest if i was given the choice between living in Barrow or Blackpool i would choose Barrow, i asked SWMBO and she said the same, i then asked what if it was 30 years ago and we both said Blackpool.
Yep, been to both recently and I probably agree, Barrow is the nicer place
 
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