Mistakes will always be made, and we can never prevent deaths. All of the above were caused by the failure to do something.
Eat out to spread it about was different. It was a direct action to get people to do something, and in this case, a huge incentive for people to go out and actively mix in the middle of a global pandemic. And more than that, it was a complete u-turn from the previous months' consistent message of "don't mix" at a point where it was obvious we weren't out of the woods. And even more than that, it was immediately followed by yet another huge lockdown (probably in part
because we'd all just been out and mixing.
So in short, we went directly from being told to stay at home and not mix, to being actively encouraged to go out and mix, to bring told to stay home and not mix. It was mixed messaging at best, and dangerous incompetence at worst.
None of the cabaret you mention above were top-item government policies. Yes, it was a farce, but it was from trying to draw the line between what people could and couldn't do in a confusing and rapidly changing world. No-one stood at the podium in number 10 and announced the Next Big Initiative was the scotch egg rule, or sitting on a park bench. EOTHO was different. It WAS a big government initiative. It was a policy in it's own right and they stood there at the podium to tell us all about it. That's why it's singled out.
And yes, the hospitality industry got hit hard by the lockdown. But so did a lot of others. Shops, taxis, travel, hotels, theatres, musicians, teachers, arts... The list goes on. But none of them got a huge number 10 policy to sure up their business. Why was the restaurant/pub industry incentivised above others? (Rhetorical: it's because Tim Martin is a MASSIVE Tory donor and he wanted people back in his pubs).
Hope that's cleared those questions up for you.