Done anything daft?

[paulpj26]

I was wondering what funny stories people had or stupid stuff they had done which will give us all a good chuckle?

About 10 years ago I went to Tenerife with my family and forgot to take my suitcase. I got to the airport and the taxi driver started to take off the suitcases and low and behold silly bugger here had left his in his bedroom :lol: NUMPTY!!!

Something I did learn though was we do take far too much **** with us on holiday, I survived a 2 week holiday with nowt more but a couple of pair of shorts and t-shirts and had a really good holiday.

 

[the shadow]

yep thnk we all have . i was siting in kelda forst last year very drunk on home brew with a grop of mate . them i opend my gob (can any one smell pine ) just happend to be siting in the larges pine forist in the uk :thumb: cant live that one down

 

[bigdave]

I did something stupid once but I cant for the life of me remember her name! :lol:

 

[highwayman]

I met an elderly couple in Jersey last year in a beer garden The lady was a little bit older than the man! The couple were telling me that they regulary come to Jersey on holiday and told me that they go all over the world on holiday together!!! I thought they might be on a second marriage (like me) and he was her toy boy!! I asked them how long they had been together!!
The bloke replied..ALL MY LIFE..ITS MY F--CKIN MOTHER We quickly finished our beer and moved on ...My wife..wet herself laughing :rofl:

 

[unclepumble]

When in lesbos on Hols with SWMBO, we went out for the day on a scooter. about 30 miles from our hotel, whilst on a dirt track in the middle of nowhere, next to the sea, we came across a big rock with arrows pointing to the sea "Hot Springs".

Being of the curious type I dipped my toe in where the sea appeared to be bubbling, and loads of hot water was coming out of the ground into the sea on the shoreline.

I'm having a bit of this said I to the missus and got in and sat in about 2 foot of water that went very very hot every 30 seconds or so, then luke warm as the sea mixed with what was coming out of the ground, bloody lovely it was.

Any how when I stood up the missus fell about laughing at me.

I said what's up I'm not that funny, she said you are look at your shorts, My pristine white addidas shorts had a big rust brown stain right behind where the sun shines out.
It appears the spring water was very iron rich :shock:

So being 30 miles'ish from a change of clothes I decided to pop em off move up the shore and give em a good scrubbing to get the staining out.

Very stubborn stain it was and I was that busy scrubbing I failed to notice the jeep aproaching along the road, until it was about 20 yards away. there was me bent over with the family jewels on full display and swinging away in the sunlight.

This made the missus laugh even more, therefore I decided sod it, and swung round to the Jeep smilling and waving with daft look on my face.

I must have scarred them for life by the look on their face.

O and the shorts never did come clean even when boil washed.

UP

 

[31bb3]

Love that story UP. something i'd do

 

[paulpj26]

When in lesbos on Hols with SWMBO, we went out for the day on a scooter. about 30 miles from our hotel, whilst on a dirt track in the middle of nowhere, next to the sea, we came across a big rock with arrows pointing to the sea "Hot Springs".

Being of the curious type I dipped my toe in where the sea appeared to be bubbling, and loads of hot water was coming out of the ground into the sea on the shoreline.

I'm having a bit of this said I to the missus and got in and sat in about 2 foot of water that went very very hot every 30 seconds or so, then luke warm as the sea mixed with what was coming out of the ground, bloody lovely it was.

Any how when I stood up the missus fell about laughing at me.

I said what's up I'm not that funny, she said you are look at your shorts, My pristine white addidas shorts had a big rust brown stain right behind where the sun shines out.
It appears the spring water was very iron rich :shock:

So being 30 miles'ish from a change of clothes I decided to pop em off move up the shore and give em a good scrubbing to get the staining out.

Very stubborn stain it was and I was that busy scrubbing I failed to notice the jeep aproaching along the road, until it was about 20 yards away. there was me bent over with the family jewels on full display and swinging away in the sunlight.

This made the missus laugh even more, therefore I decided sod it, and swung round to the Jeep smilling and waving with daft look on my face.

I must have scarred them for life by the look on their face.

O and the shorts never did come clean even when boil washed.

UP

Quality! :thumb: Love the fact you turned around to show off the crown jewels :rofl:

 

[paulpj26]

My dad's friend decided to build himself a garage. Being a structural engineer (and a very good one at that) he's a very intelligent man, but like many academic people they can sometimes lack a little common sense.

After designing and building his new brand spanking garage he rather proudly jumped into his car and drove towards the garage. As he got nearer to the garage he suddenly stopped. He couldn't believe it, after all the meticulous planning he hadn't built the bloody thing big enough for his car :lol:

 

[jamesb]

After designing and building his new brand spanking garage he rather proudly jumped into his car and drove towards the garage. As he got nearer to the garage he suddenly stopped. He couldn't believe it, after all the meticulous planning he hadn't built the bloody thing big enough for his car :lol:

Sounds like most builders doing a single garage these days.

 

[screamlead]

Had a great Xmas in York one year - we used to travel from Germany to York for xmas and stay at the In-laws. They always laid on a massive party boxing day - we would all go out and do the famous Micklegate run before heading back for the mega shed on until the early hours.
One year me an a female m8 got back early to the house so we decided to spruce up the buffet for the guests. We made open top Pedigree Chum butties an stuck them on the bottom of the buffet table and thought nothing of it.
Until people started leaving - AKA - the whole York rugby team!! commenting to the mother-in-law how they all thought the 'Beef' sandwiches were the best they had ever had!!!! PMSL

I snook round york for the next few years hiding from the team ha ha ha ha!!!!!

 

[Dieseljockey]

I did something stupid once but I cant for the life of me remember her name! :lol:

:clap: :clap: :clap:

 

[adrianmole72]

I left a stanley knife and several screwdrivers in my rucksack when i went on honeymoon to Mexico !
Scanner couldn't have shown them up; discovered them about 3 hrs away from Cancun airport ! I was sh*TTINg it until we landed.....

I blagged the security that i was ill and needed to rush to the loo,, where I promptly dumped the items..
I would have told the cabin crew, but knowing my luck, there would have been armed police waiting for me, or the plane turned around, and diverted...

Stephen

 

[bigdave]

In all seriousness, Ive done some very stupid things in my time (many of them I'm not proud of) but there is one occasion I do look back on with embarrasing fondness.

I grew up in Coulsdon (a little place in Surrey, 10 miles south of Croydon) and moved with my family to Scarborough (North Yorkshire) When I was 15.

When I was about 22-23 I was living in a flat in Scarborough with SWMBO. We'd had A bit of an argument one afternoon so I (as us blokes do) went out drinking with a mate, and as the night went on I began remanissing about my childhood in Coulsdon.

Knowing I was going to get a bollocking when I got in, I decided to stay out a bit longer,.. What happened next is a bit of a blur but when I woke up, I was in the back of a local taxi (thats local to scarborough) in Couldson! According to the driver I'd staggered through the door of the taxi rank demanding to be taken 275 miles, to Coulsdon to meet my sister and had even paid the £350 faire up front! :shock:

This is ok I thought, both of my sisters are actually here visiting friends, I'll give them a call.... As the taxi disapeared into the distance I realised to my horror that my mobile phone must have been on the back seat and so I had no way of contacting either of my sisters! Luckily I still had my wallet which contained my somewhat battered credit card & so the only thing to do was to get a train back north to finally meet the wrath of SWMBO!

After a very long boring journey back to Scarborough, I decided to stop off at the taxi rank and find out if the driver had found my phone. Turns out I was back before him and had to sit and wait almost an hour for him to retrun with my mobile. SWMBO was not amused! Nor was the taxi driver who'd been listening to her calling my phone over and over and over again all the way up the M1! :whistle:

 

[paulpj26]

Nice one Dave :lol: :thumb: It's funny how when we are drunk we always think really bad ideas are the best ones :lol: :thumb:

Bet it took you a while to make it up with SWMBO?

 

[graysalchemy]

Classic one Dave. :thumb: :thumb: