How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me!
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, checked to make sure I haven't missed any, and made just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or 'We don't need no stinking light bulb.'
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it.. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?
Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is:
'How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?'
ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!
Tasks for today.
1) replace defective light bulb in cat's boudoir (formerly my office).
2) present following menu to cat:
Prime cuts of tuna with prawns
Premium mini fillets with trout in sauce
beef slowly cooked in a sauce with tomato
breast of duck with chicken
3) open chosen tin and serve a generous helping to cat
4) serve another generous helping to cat
5) open another tin
6) brush cat's fur with soft brush until its fur is glistening
7) naff off so as cat cat sleep peacefully in boudoir
8) switch light off as cat doesn't really need it - only required so as I can see to serve her food.
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me!
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, checked to make sure I haven't missed any, and made just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or 'We don't need no stinking light bulb.'
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it.. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?
Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is:
'How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?'
ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!
Tasks for today.
1) replace defective light bulb in cat's boudoir (formerly my office).
2) present following menu to cat:
Prime cuts of tuna with prawns
Premium mini fillets with trout in sauce
beef slowly cooked in a sauce with tomato
breast of duck with chicken
3) open chosen tin and serve a generous helping to cat
4) serve another generous helping to cat
5) open another tin
6) brush cat's fur with soft brush until its fur is glistening
7) naff off so as cat cat sleep peacefully in boudoir
8) switch light off as cat doesn't really need it - only required so as I can see to serve her food.