investments ?

[godfrey]

received this email earlier today and wanted to share

Just Imagine...........


If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Qantas one year ago, you would have £49.00 today!

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have £33.00 today.

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Lehman Bro the rs one year ago, you would have £0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased £1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, the n turned in the aluminium cans for recycling refund, you would have received £214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.

A recent study found that the average British man walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that the British man drinks, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means, on average, the British male get about 41 miles to the gallon!

Makes you damned proud to be British!

 

[liamtmt7]

Brilliant

 

[chrig]

Excellent

 

[oldbloke]

Just a shame very little of it is true!

Qantas closed at 1.33 a year ago and 1.12 today, so the £1000 would still be £842 (plus your dividends...)

AIG are worth almost 50% more than they were a year ago.

And I don't buy beer in cans!
If I did, scrap aluminium gets 50p/kg, so the quoted return is for 428kg of the stuff.
That's in the ballpark of 7000 cans.
Which makes the beer 14p/can.
Which doesn't happen.

 

[PD]

and I try not to walk 900 miles in a year.....

 

[Slid]

22 gallons of alcohol is like a lot. :

If you drink 5% alcohol - which is pretty strong, that is 9.6 pints a day.

Do the math - 22x8x20/365 = 9.6 odd.

900 miles a year for the average man?
That's 18 miles a week.
When I was a club runner, I bet most of the club members would only manage about twice that. And a member of a running club is about as far from average as they come.

Is it "average" for blokes who responded to an advert that said "How fit are you?" or something?

Statistics only lie because volunteers are never representative of the population.

And sorry to pour cold water on what was actually a very nice story :lol:

 

[godfrey]

Just a shame very little of it is true!

Qantas closed at 1.33 a year ago and 1.12 today, so the £1000 would still be £842 (plus your dividends...)

AIG are worth almost 50% more than they were a year ago.

And I don't buy beer in cans!
If I did, scrap aluminium gets 50p/kg, so the quoted return is for 428kg of the stuff.
That's in the ballpark of 7000 cans.
Which makes the beer 14p/can.
Which doesn't happen.

I guess 22 gallons of alcohol a year is wrong also
only half a gallon a week or 3 bottles of wine a week
my wife drinks at least 4 bottles of wine a week lol

but they are talking only in beer so 22 x 9 pints
198 pints a year not even 1 pint a night
when i was a lad I could drink that in a month !
it would only take 6 pints a night to achieve.

 

[oldbloke]

On reflection I'm being unfair, coz with the beer deal you do at least get the beer.

So it's:

Qantas -158£
AIG +500£
Lehman - dunno if anybody bought out the shares? Did they really become worth zilch?
Beer... Asda do a 4pack of Thwaites cans for 3.30, so let's say you get 1200 cans, at 36g each, that's 43kg, or +22£

So actually the beer deal is worth a bit over 2%, which is better than most current cash ISAs.

 

[andybrew]

So actually the beer deal is worth a bit over 2%, which is better than most current cash ISAs

Except you don't have the original I investment.

 

[IPA]

received this email earlier today and wanted to share

Just Imagine...........


If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Qantas one year ago, you would have £49.00 today!

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have £33.00 today.

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Lehman Bro the rs one year ago, you would have £0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased £1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, the n turned in the aluminium cans for recycling refund, you would have received £214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.

A recent study found that the average British man walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that the British man drinks, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means, on average, the British male get about 41 miles to the gallon!

Makes you damned proud to be British!

In my case it's 10.59 mpg :drink:

 

[oldbloke]

So actually the beer deal is worth a bit over 2%, which is better than most current cash ISAs

Except you don't have the original I investment.

You've had the beer though. It's equivalent.

 

[andybrew]

And what are you keeping this beer at in

 

[oldbloke]

The assumption is you'd spend a grand on beer over the year in any case (haha)
So that grand is gone, whether you buy beer with it or buy shares and use a different grand for beer.
It's only what you get back that's important. And scrap aluminium is better than many ISAs, today.

OTOH, are UK beer cans aluminium, or steel, or a mix? I have no idea. I do not and will not buy beer in cans!

 

[birdy]

Nice one godfrey gave me a grin