You’re stuck in quarantine with only one flavour of crisps

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BBQ Beef Hula Hoops
 
Asda Prawn Cocktail from 2012 when they got the dosing wrong and they had so much flavour powder on it that it was like licking thirteen 9-volt batteries at the same time. BEST CRISPS EVAH!!! Serously. Imagine the blood from the Xenomorphs in Alien made into a crisp flavour: that.

My auntie used to work in Burtons and when they made Piglets she'd bring some of the salt and vinegar powder home and it was mental. We'd run to her house at dinner time, put butter on bread and spoon over the powder and it was like.... awful and beautiful at the same time. You'd screw up your face and stagger around with a face like a grieving Italian widow, catch your breath and realise that was only the first bite.
 
Horror of horror, new government restrictions come into play and you are only allowed one flavour of crisps in your quarantine stash. What would they be?


Mine would be ready salted, I think.
At my local in the 1990s there was a very dry landlord who was quite a character, but with slight Basil Fawlty tendencies. I watched one evening when a guy came in with his family , ordered his drinks and then ordered about 4 different types of crisps. Martin the landlord said "Sorry we only have plain crisps here". Shocked disbelief on the customer's face but when he got over it he eventually ordered four of the plain crisps.

After the guy had gone, I asked Martin why he didn't stock more than one variety of crisps. He explained that it all took up far too much room behind the bar (which was true) and that he had never yet had a customer refuse to buy any crisps when told he could only have plain ones. I don't think it affected his trade. He kept his beer beautifully and did pretty good bar meals and regulars just accepted it.
 
Weirdly, as much cheese isn't vegetarian due to the use of animal sourced rennet, I actually find that strangely encouraging, i.e. they must use proper cheese somehow in the flavouring!
Yes got to better than vegan cheese at any rate, or some of the intriguing sprays they use on some things.

Martin the landlord said "Sorry we only have plain crisps here".
Why not just buy the multipack variety boxes?
 
Why buy them when all customers are satisfied with plain?
Yeah, but imagine the bright little smiles on their faces when they realise they could prawn cocktail instead, or some lovely cheese and onion to complement their beverage
 
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